Utah Jazz Valentine’s Party

Photos: Andy Hayt and Otto Greule Jr NBAE/Getty ImagesPhotos: Andy Hayt and Otto Greule Jr NBAE/Getty Images

Today is Valentine’s Day.  What better way to celebrate than to dream up your perfect Valentine’s party with your most beloved Utah Jazz men?   My list of 10 invitees is below, in no particular order.  Tell us yours!

1. John Stockton and 2. Karl Malone – Is it possible to be a Jazz fan and not want John and Karl to be at the party?   I don’t imagine they’d be the most likable guests – Karl would probably talk too much and John too little – but interacting with the greatest Jazz players to ever play the game would be totally worth it.

3.  Felton Spencer – Felton will always have a special place in my heart as he was the player at my first (and only) Jr. Jazz Player Appearance Night.  You don’t forget moments like that.  Although admittedly, he will probably have to introduce himself to me at the party.

4.  Antoine Carr – I love the Big Dawg.  So much, and I can’t really explain it.  One of my most treasured possessions was a Polaroid picture of me and him taken when I saw him at a Pizza Hut while celebrating my 10th birthday.  Against my better judgment I let a friend borrow the picture and he lost it!  What he wanted with it I still don’t know.  Dear David Blodgett, you should know I’m still upset about this.

5.  Bryon Russell – Flyin’ Bryon.  ‘Nuff said.

6.  Mehmet Okur – I couldn’t imagine a party without the Money Man.  Jazz fans either love him or hate him, and I happen to love him.  Almost as much as I love his beautiful model wife.

7.  Ronnie Brewer - I know his unorthodox shot was annoying and a real playoff killer, but those big lips, athleticism, dunks, and positive attitude give him a seat at the party.

8.  Deron Williams – I still love Deron and I want his swagger at my party.  Dad says it best: “he’s such a moody bugger, but sometimes I wish he was still our moody bugger.”

9.  Jacque Vaughn – I have a thing for third string point guards.

10.  Jeff Hornacek -  Such a likable man, right?!  I will never forget being an elementary school kid and feeling a little out of the loop whenever adults would call him “Horny”. They’d always have a funny smirk while saying it so I knew there was something to the term I was missing.   So one day, I looked it up in the dictionary and my life has never been the same.

(In all reality, I’d probably welcome nearly all Jazz men into the party, with a few minor exceptions:  Adam Keefe, CJ Miles, and Jason Hart.  Anyone you’d reject at the door?)

Posted in Featured Writers
  • D0C

    I say Invite Favors, Kanter, and Burks. It doesn’t seem like Corbin or the Jazz really have any better plans for them.

    • Mal Meyer

      I hear the frustration D0C. This team is having an identity crisis.

      • D0C

        Identity crisis huh. You are right. We can send the invites to the young guns – we would want them to show up. But in the end the Jazz would send Tinsley, Watson, Sap, and Big Al.

  • http://twitter.com/jneslen Jeff

    What? No Jose Ortiz? He was the people’s player!

    • Mal Meyer

      He was definitely my choice if there was a slot number 11. ;)

  • http://twitter.com/kidfromkor Yongsoo Bahk

    Wait, Ostertag? He’s a movie star.

    • Mal Meyer

      He can come, but his Fred Flinstone tat will have to be checked at the door. This party is for grown-ups.

  • Matthew Bennion

    You missed some key guys!! Why do you have to limit it to 10? You definitely can’t leave off Howard Eisely and Ronnie Price. Gotta have our pogo stick, Jeremy Evans. ‘Yata has the 2nd best shot (Stocton’s is 1st), Kris Humphries to bring the drama, and Pace Mannion to just be….Pace. All those guys get VIP tickets to my party.

    Adding to your exceptions – Boozer isn’t getting in, neither is DeSean Stevenson. I would also deny Raja, and Girichek

    • Mal Meyer

      How did I forget about Pace?!?! And Gordon Giricek definitely belongs on the to not attend list. Good call. We probably should put Derek Fisher on there too!

  • RSR

    Can’t pick just 10 favorites, so here is a new 10. Also, no particular order…
    -A.D. …pure offense
    -Dr. Dunkenstein …yep!
    -Big T Bailey …sky hook!!!
    -The other Malone (Jeff) …Crazy fade-aways…leap’n leaner!
    -The other John (Crotty) …ready and steady
    -Big Mark Eaton …no need to jump, just keep those arms up.
    -Bluuuuuuuuuue Edwards …can hear hear the crowd now!
    -David Benoit …dude could slash and leap
    -Coach Jerry “F” Sloan …for conversation, history and colorful language
    -The best play-by-play voice ever to MC the party. …stay away from the bar Hot Rod!

    • Mal Meyer

      We have very different taste in Jazz men, but all honorable choices indeed. Thanks for playing along. You’d definitely be invited to my party.